Dear daughter,

Keturah Ariel http://keturahariel.com/ 

Let's  talk about 'black hair and skin tones. 

Dear daughter, "you are not your skin; you are not your hair; you are the soul that lives within" - India Arie 
As humans, we all face some form of adversity at one point in our lives. You being a biracial girl, I don't expect it to be any different for you. When you’re older you may ask yourself, why are skin color and hair type a big deal? The answer to that is as long as people walk the earth, color and race will too. And because of that you, my child ought to never forget that you come from a mixed race family. The Caribbean is a melting pot of culture and diversity. Our hair type, eye and skin color are all different within OUR family and that's perfectly perfect.  

In this culture, so many people are focused on black hair, hair typing, and textures. Is it a wig, weave, braids, dog or horse hair? What happened to just giving a compliment or not? My parents had taught me that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all! That also meant you don't always have to question a person's hair or skin tone. 

Compared to your dad, I grew up in a very diverse household. Not only did we vary in skin color but also in hair texture and features. Growing up in the Caribbean, for me, was quite an adventure. The different cultures, people, habits, tradition all helped formed me. I'm so grateful that I was exposed to these things because it has allowed me to see past skin color, hair textures, and types; instead has trained my eyes to see people for who they are. 

Your dad and I have had this discussion several times throughout the years. To him, skin color and hair type in regards to 'the black community' was never a thought. Now that we have you it has been brought to his attention how much people focus on this hype. If we had a dollar for every time we were asked ' how did your daughter get that skin color or hair' we would've been rich by now. People look at one and tend to forget that DNA and Genes still play a role in the human life. I remember times in my pregnancy people would wonder what eye color, skin tone you would have. Will you have rough hair or mixed? And every time I would cringe. If the spirit of God wasn't in me, I would've lost my mind. If we (and our families) weren't curious about those things then why were they? 

The hype: comments we've heard...

We would hear people say 'how mixed kids are more beautiful than dark skin kids', ' 

- The good hair vs bad hair', 

- 'Black women can't grow long hair that's why they're always wearing weaves', 

- Did you put something in your hair to make it smoother?',

- He / She is too light or too dark',

- 'I was so white as a baby but for some reason, my skin color has gotten darker,

- 'Is that your real hair?'

- 'I wish I had lighter skin and long straight hair'

- 'Our natural hair isn't beautiful',

- 'comparing ones' child to another in skin tone, eye color and hair'

I say all of this because in the Christian community this too has found its place. Many Christians are projecting the same worldly values when it comes to beauty. (I'm surprised because if they studied their bible, they would see that God created all nations in HIS image.) That should tell them that God is the greatest artist of all times and we're his masterpiece > Ephesians 2:20. Know that God's word instructs us in Romans 12:2- to not be conformed to this world (world standards), but be transformed by the renewal of your mind'. So, why is it that many Christians still side with what the world defines as beautiful?

Our decision...

For us as a family, we've decided to no longer respond to those questions. It's exhausting and irrelevant and we will not subject you to this plague. Our focus is on raising our children to see their true beauty and to love themselves the way God loves them. To know their self-worth and that they are not defined by how they look but who they are in Christ. 

Hopefully, these words will be carved on your heart and your roots will be firmly planted in God's love. May your ears be deaf to negative talk and may you speak truth to those who are subjected to the world's standards.

Psalm 139:14

'I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.'

Proverbs 31:25

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

We want you to know that you are beautiful with or without hair, curly, straight, coarse or locks, and your skin tone is just one of many shades.

XOXO, Mom & Dad